Long random rant for my new followers on IG & others who also wanna read 😂

Just a little fun back story abt me, since im in a story telling mood. the story is long, you so have been warned. Im just story dumping while procrastinating dont mind me 🥰

In malay language, we call this type of rant "membawang" which literally means Onion - or ONION-ning. In south east asia, women like to sit and prepare cooking ingredients together - like - peeling onions - and this is the kinda chat/rant/storytime women have when they membawang. Simply put, membawang = girltalk. Ok moving on.

I know that most of my new followers are from the US, UK and Singapore. I am from Malaysia but I have lived in the US and UK AND Singapore. I lived in Texas before my family moved back to Malaysia and I have lived in London and Singapore for studies as an adult. I feel like ive lived SO MANY LIVESSSS! even in Malaysia I have lived smack in the city, in a small town suburb AND a small village in Terengganu...all of these experiences have made me....

....The ultimate CODE SWITCHER!

I have had to assimilate into so many different cultures??!!!

WHO AM I I DONT EVEN KNOW!!

I am the amalgamation of all these places, cultures and experiencess!

It is not lost on me that it is a PRIVILEGE to be able to have lived these lives and have all this exposure. I am a lucky girl. I know it makes me a better artist and writer because I am able to understand cultural nuances and dynamics. I can "get it" cause ive literally been there and lived it. And I see all the universal themes and patterns in all these cultures. my goal is to hone my writing skills to the point anyone can resonate to the story and underlying emotions and experiences I try to convey. I want you to FEEL what I FEEL. or what my characters feel. I LIVE for this pay off 😂

To add a layer of "cultural nuance learning" - and just a fun tidbit of my own ~rOmAnce jOurNey~ since all ive been writing is romance and fantasy lol - In every place I have lived I have dated a local boyfriend too - another layer of cultural assimilation! One of the best ways to experience a country and its people is to DATE them 😂, and date them seriously, so you'd meet all their friends, their MOMS and families... and not just hang out with the international crowds. You speak the slang, you attend their cultural festivities, you become part of the community. Thats one of the ways you can truly understand a culture.

Ive never dated a British guy tho (im holding out for Draco Malfoy 😂😂😂) I have dated several Europeans, and some very seriously, and ive met their parents and all that jazz. I do love how they think and live life but of course its easy to be that way since they are from a rich country and their ancestors took from others!! none of my ex's were Japanese, Dutch, Portugese or British though so their ancestors did not colonize or invade me 😂 (but that one Austrian ex of mine is FREAKING HITLER in my eyes and he shall remain "hitler" to me forever)

But safe to say, I AINT NO POCAHONTAS JOHN SMITHS 🖕🏼🤣

actually if I end up dating a British Draco Malfoy - a literal Lord whos ancestors were prolly the OG colonizer - it would be the ultimate enemies to lovers because I will surely bring up colonization in every argument 😂😂

"YOU DO THE MOPPING CAUSE U MADE MY PEOPLE PLOW OUR LANDS FOR SPICE THAT YOU DONT EVEN USE!!"

And

"HOW DARE YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO WANNA WIN THIS ARGUMENT WHEN YOUR PEOPLE COLONIZED MY PEOPLE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS AND GAVE US A HARD TIME TO BE AN INDEPENDENT COUNTRY!!!!" 😂 (then ill quote all the political agreements we learned in history class! shit im so hermione HAHAHAHA)

Itll be an interestng dynamic, 100% ill do it for the writing material 🤣

I also think some of these guys have preconceived notions of what they THINK is south east asian culture and asian women, and so when they date me theyre SHOOK - I never hold back in pointing shit out. They are exhausted. Probably for the best we broke up 😂 someone needs to point it out and educate them, might as well be me ☺️

I cant believe I thought I was gonna marry any of them. I wouldve killed them if they didnt kill me first 🤣

Moving on, I also thought I was gonna marry my Singaporean ex bf, which didnt happen because our goals and lifestyles didnt align. But I learned SO MUCH abt SG culture through him seh 🤭 I really thought I knew Singapore being from Johor and all, but I was wrong. Singaporeans and Malaysians are VERY DIFFERENT. The values, the way we think, the way we navigate life. Its not the same. Malaysians, we are soooo freaking chill. TOO chill. We are a very very laidback chill culture. Malaysians are your fav flip flops from the night market with the  worn down sole and Singaporeans are the limited edition hypebeast sneakers with matching clean white socks. Thats my analogy. Both great but for different purposes 😂

Then theres my US dating experience - tho I dont think my kindergarten boyfriend counts 😂😂😂 - But Read wherever you are, hi dear, you were the first supporter of my art. I still remember the cowboy drawing I drew that you loved (omg so freaking texas yalls) that Mathew shit on. Now I realize he was probably jealous because I made it for you. We were in a love triangle and we didnt even know it!!!! This was probably the start of my romance journey 😂

Read was the first guy I gifted my art and he was sooo happy to have received it - mind you - being the main character that I am - I presented it to him while a bunch of my classmates were there. I think he felt so honored that HE got it. My teacher Miss Mario then asked me to draw a cowgirl so she could put it up on the feature wall. And so I drew a cowgirl to match Read's cowboy. Its amazing how much I remember this moment in my life. It was my goodbye present to Read because it was my last day at school and I wanted him to remember me and our "rELaTiOnsHip" forever 🥲 OMG IM SUCH A HOPELESS ROMANTIC SINCE I WAS LIKE 5 😂😂😂HAHAHA

I also had another boyfriend in that school called Danny, who was like the cutest guy in school according to me (yes ive been delulu since forever 😂) Danny's mom did not like that Danny was friends with me because I was Muslim and changed his class so we cant be too close. She was the Ultimate Karen! My first foray into microaggressions and racism in the US. Anyway, whatever danny and dannys mom BOOOOOOO.

Read, on the other hand, his family welcomed me with open hands, especially his Granpa who was our class Santa and I asked for A BARBIE DREAM HOUSE 😆. I experienced my first Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July and my first Halloween (I was a witch - duh. I was Elphaba) I got to experience the "american life" in the suburbs of USA. We lived there because my father was an engineer for Esso, and there were so many Malaysians in Houston then, and my house became the go-to "Malaysian house" So many malaysians (including uni students) came over to my hse to eat and for Eid. I still remember our FEAST. Malaysians - all we do is EAT wherever we are 😂 People came to my house for our "Sambal Belacan" because of course they would. Sambal belacan is "chili jam" to quote James Oliver 😆

Gosh I could go on and on. These were really sweet memories of the US and my childhood.... then when I moved back to Malaysia, all I remember was bullying and anxiety (the beginning of my villain origin story of why I became a gangster lady - I needed to fend for myself 😂)There was a time I was considered a melayu celup kid  (third culture kid) who just got back from the US and I was very american and people hated that. I didnt know how to speak malay very well and my parents put me in a predominantly malay (luar bandar / rural) school. the trauma, the culture shock, istg!!! Tapi takpelah lepas tu sis boleh cakap melayu terrer gila takde masalah dan kembali ke pangkal jalan "takkan melayu hilang di dunia" TAK HILANG ADA JER WEIII TAK PAYAH LA NAK KACANG LUPAKAN KULIT BAGAI AKU INGAT JE SEMUA KULIT SEBAB MEMANG AKU KENE KUPAS SATU SATU PON SIAL LAA PUAS HATI?!? Evidently, the trauma remains 😂 If you dont understand that its ok, its meant for my bullies who hated me for being different.

Anyway, my point is, I do enjoy cultural nuances and understanding dynamics... I love code switching... all these bf experiences just gave me more material for life and my romance novels. So Thank you boys you served me well. AND I WIN!! MUAHAHAHA (nak gak menang its ok they all know my style 😂)

(intermission)

just got a sudden idea to write a fic where all my ex boyfriends and situationaships end up in a magical Island where they have to unpack their traumas together in order to escape 🫨🤯🤣 I can already predict whats gona happen and whos gonna be besties and whos gonna be enemies 😌 Everyones gonna hate Hitler. Hitler is gonna hate everyone. Singaporean boy and ultimate Malaysian boy are gonna be besties, I can already see them setting up camp. The Singaporean boy will lead because he went to NS (National Service), was a platoon sergeant and had to develop leadership skills 🤣 The very many Malaysian guys would not get along with each other. Theres one celebrity too, but he'll probably be besties with Singaporean & Malaysian too - cause "underneath all the glitz and glamour" he's just a "boy next door" (oooh juicy who is this celeb you ask??? i toldju ive lived many lives😂) The rest of the International crowd.... shit ive no idea how theyre gonna be like in a group setting considering their cultural backgrounds and personalities. It would be... mildly awkward 🤣 Spanish guy, Kiwi guy, Brazilian guy - theyll hang together since they have the same job tho Kiwi guy would hang with the SG/MY camp cause they all have the same hobbies and would be so excited to set up camp. They would think it was a holiday 😆 I can imagine them sharing stories about me and be like "haih our girl miriam tsk tsk" 😂 Theres even a Jew whos literally gone on a birthright trip to Palestine (this rship happened before the whole ordeal fyi) I now call him ISRAEL. Israel and Hitler would be friends and work together. Theyll think theyre better than everyone else and be so freaking annoying. I also have two very jealous possesive Malaysian ex's who'll have the capabilities to see right through them and punch them both in the face for me if I asked them to🤣 They would gladly as they have waited all their lives to punch any ex of mine HAH 🤣 Brazillian guy and Spanish guy would def try to stop them because they are such "lovers not fighters" And everyones probably gonna get a whole lecture from Spanish guy because he's all about "DOING WHATS RIGHT" Which would piss Hitler off cause HE wants to be the RIGHTEST OF THEM ALL! Which would then annoy Israel cause HE's also right, CAUSE HE IS THE WOKEST OF EM ALL! While all of this is happening, my SG / MY / Kiwi camp be laughing at the side while building a campfire and happily making tools from stone and wood, teaching each other their bushcraft knowledge and calling each other "bro" and "dude" 🤣 I wont even be surprised that theyll start working out together and teach each other martial arts as a "bonding experience" 🤣 and oh, dear me! almost forgot abt my middle eastern phase, as I had a whole Iranian moment. Theyd all prolly hang out together except one of em who'll be doing martial arts with the other boys. He'll probably be like

🫷🏼🙂‍↔️🫸🏼 Boys excuse me IM LITERALLY the ultimate fighting champion and I can kick everyones ASS (I just dont believe in climate change thats why Miriam ghosted me 🤣) Ok but no I believe he is a humble guy he probably wont tell anyone his capabilities unless provoked 😂

One of the iranians will also hate everybody cause he's so uBeR cOoL and "mAteRial cOnsCious"..he'll be building his very own shelter using sustainable materials inspired by Brutalist and wabi sabi architecture. He'll sneer at everyone else's "postmodern exploration of entropy, where form follows... nOtHiNg" 🤣 Insufferable twat he was. But i bet you his shelter would look amazing and could be featured in AD 🤣

Ahhhhh my boyzzzzz so many boyssss. all kinds of boyssss.

and what a wonderful fic idea !😆 I gotta say, imagining them in these situations makes me appreciate all of them even more. I did care abt them with all my heart and they cared abt me too. It just didnt work out. Timing, values, distance, goals all played a part on why we broke up. LIFE IS LIFE. I have no hard feelings, I just have.... STORIES!!! HAHAHAH.

I dated them all in my 20s because I was missing a brain and because I was a dumb hopeless romantic gurlie "looking for the one"  - and  guess what - I already found the one!!! It was me. I am she. I AM THE ONE I WAS LOOKING FOR ALL ALONG!!!!🤯🤯🤯 Dont get me wrong, I am still a hopeless romantic gurlie, but I just grew a brain. Its important to have a brain especially if you love romance.  Its tough out here 😂😭

nowadays I dont plan to move anywhere or put in much effort in rships, so my next boyfriend needs to sprout from the ground in front of my house! because he is a magical being and also because he is Lord Draco Malfoy with a mansion no less, AND a former bad boy (optional of course 😂). Other than the usual, smart, kind, funny etc etc, he also needs to be tall and strong and be able to carry me to safety. I may be an independent woman gangsta lady, but in a rship I am a princess baby 👶🏻 👸🏻 My exes can vouch for that as they have all had to princess me, some against their will 😆 I do like feeling safe tho, that is probably why many of exes are into martial arts and have extensive bushcraft knowledge. I am a doomsday prepper after all 😂

For more context, I am also the oldest child with abandonment issues - if that explains anything at all abt my dire princess needs 😂 Anyway, my requirements for my future partner is like 3 pages long which ive saved in a pdf and shared in my gurlie group chat. I even included AI generated pics of how id like him to look like 😂 A story for another time, a good story no less.

Anyway, thats it from me, what a rant, too many ideas.

back to working (booooooo) bye